It might be hard, but I’d give it a shot!

The older I get, the more convinced I become that I should have been born rich—not just affluent, or moderately well off, but downright filthy, jewels-dripping-off-of-me, rich. Why? Because I would know how to really enjoy it. I wouldn’t flaunt it, mind you, but neither would I hold back just for appearances’ sake. If I wore jeans, I’d be sure that they were impeccably tailored, with no breaks in the creases. My penny loafers would be of the best leather, hand tooled by Italian craftsmen. My sweatshirts would be things of beauty, made of the finest Indian cotton. I’d drive a Porsche—of course! And I would live in a 12,000 square foot home atop a bluff, overlooking Long Island Sound.

I’m kidding of course. Anyone who knows me understands that’s not me at all. But that doesn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy being rich. I surely cwould. But it would be . . . well . . . difficult, to say the least. Truth be told, I would probably be the most uncomfortable wealthy person ever.

So then, why ever would I want to be rich? Well, for starters, it would relieve me of ever having to balance a checkbook again. No longer would I agonize for hours over a thirty-seven cent discrepancy. The ubiquitous bottle of White Out that graces my desk drawer would be a thing of the past. Instead, I’d tally up my fixed monthly expenses, double that amount, and insure that that sum was always in my checking account at the beginning of each month. Then, I’d set up automatic payments. Everything else would go on a credit card, except for gratuitie, which I would give as cash.

Healthcare would no longer be a concern. Never again would doctor visits be postponed because of the size of the co-payments. The same would be true for the dentist. (The only thing I’ve ever feared a the dentist’s office was the bill.) I would have all the dental work done that I needed, and be fitted for new eyeglasses. My wife would have an unlimited charge account at Marshalls, and a regular weekly appointment with a hair stylist, masseuse, and yoga instructor. I’d be content with the masseuse.

I wouldn’t buy a new car, but I might have my pickup restored, and maybe have a nice cap installed. We wouldn’t move our residence either. We love where we live. We would probably add ten feet to our master bedroom and double the size of our bathrooms and closets. New furniture, drapes, etc., of course. I’d definitely have our lawn sodded, and have a sprinkler system installed to insure that it would forever be green. We’d get our driveway repaved, and have new carpeting throughout the house.

Being rich would allow Becky and I to indulge our penchant for charity. I remember watching a TV show in the 1950s called The Millionaire, about a man called John Beresford Tipton, Jr. Each episode, he would secretly endow some poor, desperate person with the sum of one million dollars, on the condition that they sign an agreement to never reveal the source of their endowment. Nothing would bring us greater pleasure than to be able to indulge that fantasy. Becky and I have had many a discussion of who we would help, as well as how much money we’d like to be able to give to this or that individual or family, as well as charities.

The one major purchase I would make would be a piece of property in the Catskills, where we could erect a modest house in which I could spend the entire fly fishing season each year. It wouldn’t be fancy or overly large, but it would have a generous guest suite at one end for friends to stay in when they visited. We’d take those trips of a lifetime that we’ve always thought about: a rail trip through the Rockies; a trip to England, France, and Italy, and Alaska. And, of course, we’d take the mother of all trips to Montana, where I’d fish all the rivers I could—from a boat.

But the most valuable thing that money could provide is peace of mind. It wouldn’t be guaranteed, mind you, but it would certainly be more likely.

So what would you do if you suddenly became rich? What fantasies would you fulfill? Who would you gift money to? What charities would you fund? Just think about how rewarding it would be to never have to stop and think about any expenditure. It boggles the mind. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get to the store to purchase my lottery tickets. How else am I going to make those wishes come true? Am I wrong, Donnie? Am I wrong?


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About AuthorJoePerroneJr

I am a former professional fly-fishing guide, and I write the Matt Davis Mystery Series, which presently consists of four books: As the Twig is Bent, Opening Day, Twice Bitten, and Broken Promises. The series is set in the real town of Roscoe, NY, in the Catskill Mountains, where I guided for ten years. I love fly fishing, movies, cooking (and eating), and music. To learn more about me and my writing, please visit my website at: http://www.joeperronejr.com.
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20 Responses to It might be hard, but I’d give it a shot!

  1. KiM says:

    Fun to think about what money could buy, but I’m content to be rich in other ways. Oh and I think the “No longer would I agonize for hours over a thirty-seven cent discrepancy” is a mindset thing – because I have it too. Although on the white-out I’ve switched to the pen roller. Although I don’t mind hard work my body would appreciate it if we quit doing EVERYthing ourselves and hired some of it out.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Allie P. says:

    I know EXACTLY what you mean about only fearing the dental bill. My dentist laughed a little too much when she announced my eldest has braces in his future after looking at his latest x-rays.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. balroop2013 says:

    I like what Bill says and love those lyrics! Life is much more than just money though it is needed for survival.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You are so right, Balroop. Life has been very good to me, and I’ve never had any money. I have been blessed with friendships and relationships that have sustained me through thick and thin. In the end, we go out the way we came in . . . naked as a jaybird. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Love the “Happy Ending.” GOOD LUCK with the LOTTERY! You’ve got me chuckling again… Now, if I were to become filthy rich, the first thing I would do is buy myself a new car loaded with all of the bells and whistles. My 2002 Camero is a rust-bucket with no air-conditioning, but it runs like new–so hubby says, “The old gal will outlive us!” Other than that, I would set up trust funds for daughters, grands and great-grands. Then, I would give liberally to my local church, food cupboard and to the foundations I used to support before retirement: Salvation Army, Feeding America, Southwest Indians, Christian Appalachian Project and Habitat for Humanity. After that, I would just take one day at a time–loving my neighbors (Who’s that? Everyone in the world) and living life to the full–all by the grace of a loving God, whose plans for each of us are always for our good. Blessings and love to you and yours! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ve got you beat, Bette. I drive a beautiful, fire engine red, 1998 Ford Ranger XLT pickup! It’s got 145,000 miles on it and runs like a top. I might consider buying a 1959-60 candy apple red Corvette ragtop . . . just for running back and forth to the local supermarket with the top down. I always loved the sound of those glasspack mufflers. 🙂

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  5. My sister dreams of how she would spend the lottery jackpot if she ever wins it. Almost all of it would be given to people she knows need it more than she she does. I don’t play the lottery, but if i were to become rich, I would make sure I had enough socked away so I can live in my own home with around the clock care if ever I need it. I would love to have money to leave to my nieces and nephews and my last living sister. Like you, I’d love to know that the money in my checking account would cover all my bills each month and I could pay for the recent new diabetes drug my doctor wants me to take.
    I would really love to hire a full time maintenance man to take care of my house and yard which always needs something else done. If I were rich I would not leave my home although I might make some changes to it. And I would take a few trips I always wanted to take. I would spend a month each year in Nova Scotia and a month each year out west, Colorado, Montana or some place in California.
    I would donate to our little town’s groups that are doing their best to restore our old historical courthouse. I would donate to funds I think are necessary and purposeful.
    Thanks for writing this post. It makes you think.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Those are some lovely ideals, Glenda. I was a handyman for 12 years, and one of the things I enjoyed most was helping out older folks (like I am now . . . lol), who really needed help with some of the most basic things. It was a very satisfying profession.

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  6. allenrizzi says:

    I’m pretty much like you. For once in my life, I would love to go to the doctor or dentist and just say,”Do whatever you think needs doing. Price is no object!” But alas, being a senior, I must scrutinize every expense and depend upon the desperation of the occasional lotto ticket.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Becky Perrone says:

    You are spot on, my love, EXCEPT — Marshall’s??? You know I love to bargain shop, and still would it so if we were indeed quite wealthy. However, I wouldn’t mind expanding my horizons and shopping with an unlimited account at any of the really major department stores that I can’t even look in right now. I’m just doing this to make sure you have a clear picture of what I would like to do. I actually would like to have 2 pied-a-terres so we would be able to visit with Lauren and Brad, and Jared without being intrusive during longer visits. Hey, might as well dream in Technicolor rather than in black and White. The only part of the dream which is 100% in stone is that whatever we would do we would be together . Otherwise, it would not be a dream comma would be a nightmare. Love you!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Nice post, Joe, and certainly something to think about. Maybe I should make a list and be ready, just in case my lottery numbers hit the jackpot. Never want to be unprepared, you know. I don’t need much because I’m a relatively simple man, but if I had a bounty of cash, I would try to find a 1964 Chevy Impala SS, just like the one I had in high school. Midnight blue outside with aqua blue vinyl bucket seats inside. A white convertible top above and a 4-speed shifter on the floor. That’s what I’m talking about.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, yeah . . . I can hear those thrush mufflers now! Don’t forget a larger, super duper drone! Remember to pick me up in the Impala so we can go cruisin’ the drag… LOL. 🙂

      Like

  9. Bruce Pfeffer says:

    Joe, you’re already rich. Most of your dreams are for helping others and that’s a gift greater than gold.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. As I read this, the old song “Rags to Riches” is playing on the Sirius Radio Escape channel. If you recall the lyrics, they have nothing to do with money. Tony Bennett sang

    I know I’d go from rags to riches
    If you would only say you care
    And though my pocket may be empty
    I’d be a millionaire

    My clothes may still be torn and tattered
    But in my heart I’d be a king
    Your love is all that ever mattered
    It’s everything

    So open your arms and you’ll open the door
    To every treasure that I’m hopin’ for
    Hold me and kiss me and tell me you’re mine ever more

    Must I forever be a beggar
    Whose golden dreams will not come true
    Or will I go from rags to riches
    My fate is up to you

    Read more: Tony Bennett – Rags To Riches Lyrics | MetroLyrics

    Liked by 1 person

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