Fuhgeddaboutit!

I’ve always prided myself on having an excellent memory.  The motto “a place for everything and everything in its place” has been mine since college.  Every evening, before I retire, I plug in my cell phone and headset at the USB charging station in our kitchen, so they’ll be fully charged and ready the following day—and where I always know they’ll be.  Well . . . almost always.

Tuesday evening, I strayed from my regular routine and didn’t get to bed until nearly one in the morning.  As I climbed into bed, half asleep, it occurred to me that I hadn’t plugged in my phone, nor did I have any idea where I had left it.  No worries, I thought, I’d just look for it in the morning.  When daybreak arrived, I got dressed, and went downstairs to the charging station for my phone, which, of course, wasn’t there.  Hmmm . . . maybe it’s in my office.  It wasn’t!  Okaycheck the living room couch, you idiot (I’d watched a movie there the night before).  No phone.   Hmmm . . . Maybe it’s on my nightstand?  I scrambled back up the stairs to the bedroom.  Fat chance.  Still no phone.  Now I was beginning to panic.  Where the hell can it be?

Beads of perspiration were dripping down my face.  I wracked my brain, trying to remember.  Then, suddenly I had the answer.  My car!  I must have left it in my car.  Relieved, I flew down the stairs and out to my car.  It has to be here!   I opened the passenger’s side door of my Hyundai and checked the center console.  No phone!  My head swam.  Where the hell is that phone?  Eventually, I had to admit I had no idea whatsoever where it was.  Crushed, I went back inside the house, trudged up the stairs, and asked Becky, “Hey, honey, have you seen my cell phone?”  She mumbled something about her “not being the only one with a bad memory,” then said, “Nope, but I’ll call it if you want.”

Using her cell phone, which was conveniently located on her nightstand, she dialed my number.   After several unsuccessful attempts at trying to locate my phone, I finally heard the heart-warming ringtone I’ve come to know so well.  It was downstairs, exactly where I’d left it the night before, sitting on a snack table in our game room, right in plain sight.  You moron!  How could you not have remembered?

“Found it!” I yelled up the stairs.  I was too embarrassed to elaborate.  “I’m going for my walk.”  (I thought I detected a bit of sardonic laughter, but chose to ignore it.)  With keys in hand, I put on my headphones, grabbed my fanny pack, unzipped its forward compartment, and started to insert my phone.  But something was already in there!  It was the long-lost pair of clip-on sunglasses that I thought I had lost nearly a week earlier.  Hallelujah!  I placed them in the rear compartment of the fannypack, put the phone in the front, and headed out the door.

As I walked, I paired my headset with my smartphone and settled into the familiar rhythm of my daily walk, listening to a Ricky Gervais podcast.  Halfway through the program, the sun broke through the lingering, early morning clouds and I rotated the fannypack around to the front to retrieve my clip-ons.  I put them on, then spun the pack back around to the rear and continued walking.  As my arms swung forward and back, the inside of my right arm kept hitting against something.  Hmmm . . . must be the loose end of the fannypack strap.  I reached down to adjust it, and, to my surprise, I found it wasn’t the strap at all.  It was my keys!!  And then I remembered.  I had tucked them between the fannypack strap and my belly while I was putting on my headset.  First the phone, then the sunglasses, and now, my keys.  This was my lucky day.

I stopped in the middle of the street, looked up at the sky, and imagined God staring down at me with a smile on His face . . . and then laughing.  And who could blame him?  Good memory?  Me?  Fuhgeddaboutit!


If you enjoyed this post, please share it with a friend, or reblog it on your own website.  If you’d like to follow my blog, just click on the “follow” button at the bottom righthand corner of the page.  You’ll be asked to enter your email address, and you’ll receive an email confirmation in return.  I only post once per week, and I never, ever share email addresses.
To learn more about me and my writing, visit my website at: www.joeperronejr.com or my author page on Amazon.com.  If you’ve not read one of my Matt Davis mysteries, I hope you’ll give one a try.  Start with As the Twig is Bent; it’s the first in the series.  All five Matt Davis mysteries are now available in pocketbook editions, as well as full-sized and large print editions, and, of course, in Kindle.

About AuthorJoePerroneJr

I am a former professional fly-fishing guide, and I write the Matt Davis Mystery Series, which presently consists of five books: As the Twig is Bent, Opening Day, Twice Bitten, Broken Promises and Deadly Ransom. The series is set in the real town of Roscoe, NY, in the Catskill Mountains, where I guided for ten years. I love fly fishing, movies, cooking (and eating), and music. To learn more about me and my writing, please visit my website at: http://www.joeperronejr.com.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Fuhgeddaboutit!

  1. Becky Perrone says:

    Great Blog!

    Being the one in our family whose whereabouts can be located by following my slug trail, I freely admit that I am not organized in any discernible way (although I do usually have a plan that I can follow… ) I have tried to internalize your helpful organizational comments in a positive and life-changing spirit, but alas, it is just not for me.

    However, I look at this one-time-in -our-38-years-of-marriage experience of yours as a wonderful time for reflection and rejuvenation. Just this morning when I was running through the house because I thought that I’d lost my cell phone, I did actually find it in the car. Your work has not been in vain.

    BTW- Your keys were just stuck there between your belt and your waist? No pockets used, or fanny pack? Hmmmm. Here is where the slug trail could have been of some assistance. LOL

    Love you! B

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Richard Dawley says:

    I have some advice for you. Uh, uh. I’ll write back later

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply to AuthorJoePerroneJr Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s